Dick Pics? ?

What To Do When Strangers Send Dirty Messages & Dick Pics?  

Users of Facebook will know that there’s a thing called message request where strangers are allowed to send you inbox messages that will end up in a vestibule of unseen messages unless you take your time to look through it. Same goes to Instagram messages – I mean… who looks through Instagram inbox?? Anyway I was feeling a little bored so I went to check out all my messages for both my Facebook & Instagram… and found over a hundred of weird messages from strangers. Since I can’t share everything in my inbox, I’m just gonna share with you the gems of them all here. Scroll down to see the pervs in action: 

1) FOREVER ALONE
There are more than 7 billion people in the world and not even ONE wants to be your partner for an event, it’s either:
a) The event sucks. Maybe you should attend cooler events.
b) You sir, is a sad lonely soul. It’s ok, you can wipe your tears with money.

inbox-cash1

So, apparently he get no answers from me… he thought that by praising my boobs will make things better.
Thanks for the compliment, my boobs are happy (they said thanks) but seriously, I still won’t go out with you ?
inbox-cash2

2) SEXUALLY CONFUSED
I have like a million billion reasons why we haven’t had will never have sex ?  And I know I’m a girl, Captain Obvious… unless, you wanted a boy? Jeng jeng jeng!! ?
inbox-sex

3) I DON’T EVEN… WHAT?
This is one of the strangest message I received. I can’t help but to reply him, because sincerely he seemed to be confused with himself. First he claims to ask me why did he himself follow me, then a few months later replied his own message with a ❤️‍ I don’t even understand what’s going on, so I decided to ignore.
It could be two possibilities:
a) Someone used his FB to follow and messaged me? 
b) He is just… plain…. weird  ?
inbox_WOT

4) GRUMPY DICK
I don’t get it with dick banana pics- why would you send your own naked ‘banana’ to some stranger?
It’s truly an eyesore, and imagine how awful your ‘banana’ feels if you simply show it to strangers? Shame on you for causing me eyesore and hurting your banana’s feelings, tsk tsk.
To prove my point, I did some editing on your pic: This is how grumpy your banana is now ⬇️
FB-dick

5) DRY MUCH
How about no? Or how about meeting real-life girls, or at least use your right hand for better use other than texting random girls to gross them out *drops mic*
insta-sexcam

6) INSTA DICK
It was a lovely weekend morning, I woke up from a pleasant slumber and dream. Suddenly, for the first time in my life, I decided to check my Instagram inbox. BIG MISTAKE. And there’s a big banana right in my face, literally.
The look on my face, was like: “Much wow… Very gross… So eyesore…
I don’t know who you are, but here’s some clues about you:
a) You have no one to show off besides than strangers, you sir, have a very dry and lonely life.
b) If the size of your ‘banana’ is the only thing you are so proud of… you have a SAD life. Like seriously? Even that homeless dude down the street, has a little cactus plant he’s proud of… have you no achievement in your life, besides than showing off dick?
c) You’re definitely one dick head. Positively yes.

Insta-dick_

7) BANANA SALESMAN
What’s next are far worse… PORN! Why would you send a stranger some random porns? I don’t know, maybe you’re trying to be nice and send me free porn. Thanks but if I want to watch porn, I will search for my own porn! Besides, this is giving me eyesore. Therefore this is how I spent my night… painting clothes on porn  ?

Also with a little twist, it’s actually a story about a very motivated banana salesman trying to sell his bananas.
Insta_porn1_0
Top: Seriously, I don’t want to buy bananas. Get out of my house, I’m having a nap! 
Bottom: Stop trying to feed me samples! No one will buy your bananas, loser.

Feeling very demotivated, the salesman almost gave up. Then suddenly, one day he decides to try a new formula and successfully grew gigantic bananas!
Insta_porn_1Top: I’ve never seen such big bananas in my life! You’re the best banana seller!
Bottom: I wanna buy all your bananas, more potassium please!

So now you know… never give up on your dreams and be a banana salesman if you want to. Now, what is this blog-post about again? Oh yea, it’s about weird messages on social media ?  So yea, as much as I like to make fun of the messages I received, I find that people on social media can be intrusive and sexually harassing. No one has the right to sexual harass anyone be it in person, online, or anywhere as a fact!
As for those who sent dick pics… you didn’t impress me. You’re just a joke between me and my friends ? ?
giphy1

 

Thanks for reading & have a banana ?

Author;
dianababe.com

Instagram & Twitter;
@dianababe_lee