I’ll admit that I’ve been missing from YouTube (for months) and also very inconsistent in my blog (I’ve been missing for months too without updates, sorry). It’s because fibromyalgia ruined my life. Here’s an intimate look inside an ‘invisible’ illness that became a part of my life.
I have been suffering from pain and fatigue since a decade ago, but I never knew it was fibromyalgia. They used to come and go and weren’t too severe when I was younger so I didn’t take it too seriously back then. Time went on and I did try to seek help from medical professionals.
However, doctors mostly just attribute it to my sitting postures, sleeping positions, etc. They usually just advise me to do stretches and take painkillers when needed. Chiropractors didn’t seem to help too, in fact, one of them made it worse and I had the worse pain in my arm for a full week. I did acupuncture, cupping therapy and a whole load of traditional Chinese methods/medications- they helped me temporarily but my symptoms will come back worse afterwards.
Fast forward, to the year 2017… my symptoms’ severity suddenly increased a lot (which might be due to the toxic work culture that exacerbated it). My partner persuaded me to quit my full-time job because I can no longer function consistently on a day-to-day basis. On some days I’m okay and can work. But on some days I can suddenly wake up with the worse flare-up and I can’t do anything for a day or two.
After countless tests and money wasted on the wrong medications and treatments… I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2018. I actually had symptoms about a decade ago – it’s scary to think that it actually took around 10 long years to diagnose!
How did Fibromyalgia ruin my life?
Also, I only had an average of 4-5 hours of productive hours, which limited a lot of things I wish to do. My fatigue could be so bad at times, that I’m bedridden.
Most of the time, my fatigue is accompanied by pain that’s so severe I can’t move – so much that my partner had to help me to the toilet and also feed me. The pain will travel from the shoulders to the head, sometimes lower back and legs too. Now, I can’t even go for a normal 30-minute exercise, without feeling muscle aches like I’ve been in a WWE match the next day.
Also, behold IBS. Due to this shitty disorder, I have problems digesting and interesting this is what I found: People with fibromyalgia have different gut bacteria!
Not to mention that it impacted my mental health. I was mostly crying to sleep when I have a Fibro flare-up. It’s very sad too when people question my ‘invisible’ sickness because I don’t look ‘sick’ on social media or in person.
The only blessing from this is that I have a loving partner who takes care of my every need, both financially and emotionally.
How to stop Fibromyalgia from ruining my life
I’m currently on medication (Lyrica) and it did make me feel more energetic for longer hours now, with less pain. However, it will knock me out sleeping for longer hours – which explains why I’m only waking up around 11 am-12 pm most of the time. People who didn’t know me might think that I’m lazy (yes, I know who’s been talking behind my back) – but truth be told, I wish things were different. I too, wish that I could be productive and live a pain-free life.
I was advised to do mild exercises and also CBT psychotherapy. Though these are not exactly the ‘remedy’ since Fibromyalgia is incurable and its causes are still mysterious, at least my specialist is now giving these options for me to handle my symptoms better. It’s something right?
I don’t know what the future holds for me to be honest, and I’m a little scared. Whatever it is… let’s be optimistic it will be a better future?
Till’ then, FU fibromyalgia🤬